I have Four question for all of the married, soon to be married or once married people...
Is Love an Emotion or a Choice?
Do you have a Covenant Marriage or Contract Marriage?
What is your Love Language?
Is your Love Tank full?
These same questions are asked in the books "The Five Love Languages" and "Now You Are Speaking My Language" By Dr. Gary Champman. Eddie and I have read these books together and absolutely loved them.
I learned a lot about myself and my husband from reading these books. I would recommend them to anyone that is getting married, is married and has been married. If the four questions I have asked you are a little confusing but have sparked some interest, you will love these books.
Now for my answers to these questions...
Is Love an Emotion or a Choice?
I believe love is a collection of every emotion and action out there, for the simple fact that there is a chance you can experience every emotion and action in a marriage. That said, I choose to love Eddie no matter what comes along with that. I love Eddie to benefit him and I try to love Eddie in the way he feels most loved. I love the saying "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all". I wouldn't give live up with Eddie for anything I welcome every moment good and bad.
Do you have a Covenant Marriage or Contract Marriage?
Eddie and I are trying everyday to have the covenant marriage God intended for us. I love Eddie for the benefits it brings him and he loves me for the benefits it brings to me. I do not love him for what it might give, or do for me, nor does he. That is what these books describe as a contact marriage, people love each other on the basis that their spouse will give them something or act a certain way, accomplish certain things, etc.
What is your Love Language?
My primary love languages are "receiving gifts" and "physical touch". Some days I think I have a little bit of "word or affirmation" in me.
Is your Love Tank full?
My tank is over flowing it is so full. Eddie, thank you for the wonderful, fun filled, "Chippery" weekend.
OK, so you have my answers, I would like to hear yours. The last two questions might be hard to answer for the people that have not read the books, but you are more then welcome to try.
4 comments:
I don't think I'm smart enough to answer those questions yet... but I'll say this... Craig and I are in it for the long haul and now he's stuck with me wether he likes it or not... I think he's happy about that though!
Rather than answer your four questions, I'll just comment generally. First, I'm really proud of you and Eddie for the marriage you are building. You are truly doing it the right way to build a strong and healthy marriage that can stand the test of time. Both of those books are incredible. Another favorite marriage book of mine is, "His Needs, Her Needs." I think I sent that to you and Craig and Beckah too when you got engaged! As far as love being an emotion or a choice -- well it is both. Love is a very strong emotion. But lasting, covenental love is certainly a choice. The honeymoon euphoria you feel now won't last forever. And the choice to stick it out is what will keep you together through the hard times -- when the checkbook doesn't balance no matter what you do, when the babies won't sleep through the night, when the floods come! I believe all of us in the Greenwood family have that kind of love. I credit Mom and Dad for modeling that for us when the times got tough and "emotion" ran thin for them -- they stuck it out. And now look at them ... happy together, living their retirement life together and enjoying the blessings of happy, healthy, grown children and beautiful grandchildren. They get to live the satisfaction of that life together and travel together and grow old happy together. What if they gave up in the days when it got hard? Our family would be fractured today ... and we could not enjoy holidays together, you all would not have those Sunday afternoons together, our family would not be what it is because they gave up the covenant they made before God. Thanks Mom and Dad for honoring your covenant and now you and your children reap the blessings of it. And we all can live up to that blessing!
Brittany - I've read the 5 languages of love, but definetly should look for the other book :)
PS: GREAT Blog topic
Is Love an Emotion or a Choice?
I believe that ultimately Love is a choice. You choose who you marry, you choose how you treat them, You choose to love them unconditionally. I've always felt its a choice. Growing up I thought love at first sight was silly -however, I believe there's connection at first sight and attraction at first sight.
Do you have a Covenant Marriage or Contract Marriage?
A contrat is so temporal and could be trown out the door with a sign of first crap. However, I'm happy to say that Steve and I have a covenant Marriage. A marriage that includes God.
What is your Love Language?
I love gifts on special occasions (bday - xmas) - but I appreciate act of service. I love it when I know that steve has made the bed or helped with the dishes. His consistent and is patient. Love that man. Thank good ness for good men.
Is your Love Tank full?
My love Tank is so full - I catch myself feeling super lucky and are grateful I met steve when I did. Also that I never married that boys I dated seriously. Steve fits my personality and he loves me. I love his random compliments.
Those are all great books! Marriage is a consicous,daily decison. Eddie is a great guy and he is totally head over heals about you! Who wouldn't? Here's to a happy marriage!
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